Being self-confident means being convinced of your own abilities, of your value as a person, and being aware of yourself as a thinking and feeling being. It is all about believing in yourself and liking yourself – not about becoming particularly successful or rich. Self-confidence and inner strength are cornerstones of a satisfied and independent life. These are two of the most important qualities to pass on to your own child along the way
How to empower your child
Self-confidence is not something a child is born, yet any child can become self-confident and strong. A child needs attention, love, and some help on the path to a self-confident life:
| Strengthen your own self-confidence |
Self-confidence is also instilled, among other things, by the role model function of parents and guardians. Children love their family members unconditionally. They watch them for hours and adopt the behavioral patterns of their role models. Therefore, it is inevitable for the parents and guardians to strengthen their own self-confidence in order to convincingly convey it to the child and to be a positive role model. After all, how are parents supposed to persuade their children to persevere if they themselves give up easily?
Try new things!
Children need to be encouraged to explore new things without being expected to produce specific results or outcomes. The joy of experimentation is stifled at its core when children can’t forge their own paths.
“It doesn’t work that way.” / “That will never work!” When parents manage to break free of their fixed and rigid ways of thinking and opinions and succeed in offering support and help to the child, new opportunities for growth for the child arise therein. It is important to remember that help should be offered when the child asks for it. Unsolicited help, however, shows the child “You can’t do it on your own anyway!” When children know that Mom and Dad believe in their strengths and abilities, they become much more self-confident and confident in dealing with new tasks.
Do not draw comparisons
| Children should never be compared to other children or siblings. As self-evident as it is that elephants should not be compared to monkeys because they cannot climb trees, it should be equally self-evident not to compare children to other children. Every child is unique and has very special abilities that other children may not have, without that being out of order or unlovable. But when adults allow this competitiveness through comparisons, it results in the development of fear of losing in children, and feelings of inferiority and self-doubt arise. Rather than trying to be successful for their own life’s journey, they try to be better than others to earn recognition and prestige. The only comparisons that are allowed when relating to the child are comparisons with themselves when they have progressed and learned new things. Thus, the child’s progress and abilities are visualized and his or her self-esteem is strengthened. |
Level the playing field with your child
Equal dignity means accepting the other person equally as yourself. This also applies to the relationship between parents and children. Naturally, parents must assume leadership responsibility within the family. However, children still want to be treated at eye level and to be treated as equals by adults, especially by their parents. This means that their wishes, problems, and needs should be recognized in the same way as those of an adult. All feelings, idiosyncrasies, thoughts, and problems deserve to be respected and valued instead of being ignored and dismissed with “That’s nothing to worry about!”. Equal dignity between parents and children is about valuing and acknowledging children’s needs, desires, and points of view, but also respecting one’s own intentions, values, and points of view in order to reach a compromise. If this is impossible in some situations, it is important to also accept and accompany the child’s reaction, anger, and disappointment. Equal dignity at eye level is a communicative process between the parties involved, regardless of age and gender.
Take off the kid gloves
| Crises and sorrow are as much a part of a person’s life as all the positive and beautiful moments. If children are treated like raw eggs and overprotected, this prevents the development of psychological resilience. Children need to experience responsibility, risk, and defeat in order to be able to cope with problems on their own as well as with new situations.This includes giving the child the right amount of responsibility that he or she can handle. They will develop the feeling that they can rely on themselves and that they can take care of themselves even in difficult times. |
| Love unconditionally |
| The focus on strengths and skills in dealing with one’s own child must always be central. Moms and dads are responsible for consciously focusing on the child’s skills, successes, and moments of happiness. If your child has a bad day, he or she must not be left alone with his or her feelings. A child must learn that feelings can be influenced and will pass again, and that one learns from one’s own mistakes and weaknesses. The most important thing, however, is that children are allowed to experience emotional warmth and unconditional love even on bad days. If parents do not let go of their expectations towards their children, children will only feel worthy if they live up to these expectations. |
| Children are not born to conform to their parents’ expectations, but to become themselves. |